Road Trip To The Great North
Original Post June 13, 2013
Moe (Steve), Larry (Harry), and Curley (Woodsie) hitched the mighty Mazda to the trailer loaded with the war canoes, at Chaplin Park, to head north on a great adventure. Destination Palm Cove, just north of Cairns, to contest the GBROC. The remainder of the crew, “The Marx Brothers”,Groucho (Viv), Harpo (Roger) and Chico (Des) were flying up to meet us there.
Day 1: After some initial concerns the way the trailer was behaving, just south of Gympie they decided to put some air in the tyres and some caffeine in themselves. This plan worked a treat and all was well. With no real schedule to follow they drove all day until they passed through Rocky and spotted an isolated country servo at a place they later learned to be Yaamba (note double “a”) Curly U turned in besides the pump so Larry could fill up with Diesel. Like a Finger in the Eye, pretty much the only other permanent building in the area was “The Royal Oak Hotel/Motel” directly opposite. Moe and Curley walked across the Highway to check it out, Nuck! Nuck! On requesting lodgings they were informed there was only one unit left, Unit 12, which had three bunks and an ensuite, obviously the Penthouse and at just $95 per night, a bargain. Whop! Whop! One curious aspect was evident, all the patrons in the Bar wore Canadian Jackets and/or Flannelette shirts all in the same black and white checked pattern, which prompted Larry to speculate the passing through of a travelling salesman on a prior cold evening? Ruff! Ruff!
They also enquired about the meal situation, they were in luck again, Whop! Whop! At around 5pm dinner was ordered and after much negotiation it was determined 6:30pm ideal for their reservation. Apparently only one order can be undertaken per 15min. interval. After a couple of internally cleansing Ales, it was decided to clean up the outer body before dinner. Off to the Penthouse, the other guests were very envious as Unit 12 held the only bathroom, the lesser patrons had to walk across to the pub for the communal showers, Nuck! Nuck!
Stacey and Lyle would have loved the Leopard print shower curtain, if not the mould and mildew in the tiles. Alas I digress, with Moe the last to shower and standing naked in the ensuite, door open, a knock on the front door prompted Larry to respond, revealing the Barmaid, who had come to inform the Stooges their dinner was served, a little earlier than expected! She looks in to see Moe, who was apparently carrying around a marsupial elephant. The Barmaid said “you could have closed the door”, to which Larry, unaware of the happening behind him, said “but I’m talking to you”, she replied “not this door, the bathroom door”, Knucklehead! It must be said she took her time to depart the scene. By the time Moe had dressed and the Guys made their way to the Pub, the Bar was well informed of the happenings, by the “Eye Witness News Reporter”.
They sat down to eat and noticed a guest sitting at the other end of the same table who said he was waiting for his king sized burger to arrive, “it’ll be as big as your Steak & Veg”. Could well have been Jim Carrey from “Dumb and Dumber”, a little later the burger was served with a large wooden skewer holding it together. Jim picked up the burger and in the process of taking it to his mouth duly drove the skewer through his bottom lip. “Oh, a wise Guy a”.The Red Cross would have been grateful for such a copious donation. Whop! Whop!
Day 2: After a not so sleep filled night the stooges rose early to continue their trek north, a pretty much uneventful day, eventually bunkering down at a caravan park in Townsville for the night. Then off to the local Pub for dinner. On arrival, pasta was ordered to begin the carbo loading process. After noticing patrons come and go and still no joy for the trio, Curly went to see the staff, apparently a computerised Till glitch had taken them out, (of the system) Ruff! Ruff! Ultimately dinner appeared, was eaten and sated the boys settled in for a restful night.
Day 3: Leaving Townsville, it was decided to put some Ks on the clock before breakfast and thus Ingham became the first stop. After finding a parking spot, a café was found in the main street. The Guys walked in and were greeted by a very high pitched voice from an unknown sauce, “Morning boys” and further investigation revealed a diminutive, middle aged female waitress, neatly concealed behind the 1200mm counter. She sure sounded like a Mini Me version of Fran Drescher from “The Nanny”. Breakfast of sausages, eggs and tomato was ordered and after a 40min. wait (nothing happens fast in North Queensland) Fran in her Mezzo-Soprano voice, apologises for the delay, sighting the Butcher’s tardiness in delivery of his wares. No worries, no rush, in time breaky arrives and it’s worth the wait, best ever snags! Fran then informs the Guys because of the delay the Boss says free coffees and free jam for the remaining toast. When the coffees show up Moe’s skinny Cappuccino has a head as high again as the mug itself and after the first sip, Moe looks like Santa on a bad morning. Ruff! Ruff! At lunch time the Guys were tempted by a sign indicating “Best ever coffee” where lunch was ordered, oddly though all had fish & chips the proprietor said we are not a fish & chip shop, however great chips! The waitress, outside of serving the Guys, swept the same spot on the floor countless times before vacuuming the very same spot, maybe the broom wore out? On leaving a new broom appeared and the doll was sweeping the walls, “Nar, it’s a living!”